Step 1: Be aware of the 3 essential key competencies to succeed
Who doesn’t want their child to succeed in life? We all want them to achieve their dreams and that’s in line with the definition of success in the dictionary: the accomplishment of a goal. It is very important, especially for us, single parents, to see our children succeed. Single parenthood is not an easy path because we make so many sacrifices, having to do everything, being frustrated, worried and sometimes desperate. All these tribulations must be productive, we do it all for our children.
I don’t know how many times I cried, how many times I felt so tired I wanted to give up, how many times I was so stressed about our future but each time the image of my son smiling at me was enough to give me the courage to keep fighting and overcoming obstacles. After all these battles, I don’t want him to fail, I want him to achieve his dreams, live a good life and be happy (add link here to my article on happiness) and for me this is the true definition of success in life…
Success in life is not easy to achieve. Science says that only 8% (quote University of Scranton and Forbes article) of people achieve their new year goals. Achieving your goals is part of what makes you successful, it takes work. As parents, we need to give our children the foundation to succeed. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, they make their own choices and their future is in their hands but as parents we have to prepare them.
As Benjamin Franklin said once:” If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail”. You must plan for your children success in life to help them make it happen. But where to start? This series of blog posts is a starter guide for you to develop a sound plan for your children’s success in life. Check my blog post on the strategic roadmap for success in learning as well.
First step is to understand what it takes to be successful. What are the key essential competencies one should have or develop to succeed in life?
Success in life is a complex subject. It’s not just about money, there are so many examples of rich people who end up committing suicide because they weren’t happy; it’s not just about being super smart, super popular, super efficient, super straight or whatever…Success in life is about being fulfilled as a whole, socially, spiritually, professionally, financially, personally. In other words, be content with who you are and what you have: relationships, spirituality, finances. Achieving this state takes hard work, and your children may need to develop a combination of knowledge, skills, and competencies to get there. Check my tips to improve your wellbeing here.
Successful people share similar traits, many of them weren’t born successful, but they have come their way. The good news is that you can help your children develop these traits, but first you need to understand them. And if you want to see your children succeed in life, you need to work with them to develop those traits. But what are these traits? I got you covered with a summary of the 3 essential key competencies that your children must develop to succeed in life:
Good communicator:
The first thing you’ll notice is that successful people are generally good communicators. They speak well, express themselves clearly and know how to present their ideas directly. It allows them to get what they want and that is essential. To be a good communicator, you not only have to speak clearly, but you also have to be a good listener to get your point across and get what you want.
I’m a real fan of the Shark Tanks US TV show, and I’m always fascinated by the stories of the billionaires and entrepreneurs who make the show, it’s very inspiring and informative. I’ve noticed that the ones who end up with a deal are the ones who are able to clearly articulate their vision, even with the craziest ideas in the world, like this woman with her gnome company Wendy’s Gnome Shop who landed an investment $200,000 from Sharks to sell homemade gnomes for all occasions. The woman didn’t have an MBA, she wasn’t a salesperson or anything like that, she was just simple, clear and very direct in explaining her passion, she listened… and she got a deal! On the other hand, I’ve seen awesome people with MBAs or solid experience who didn’t get a deal because they didn’t listen to what they were told or weren’t good in explaining their view.
But as I said, it’s not just about the money, you can tell successful people, they have a very balanced life: a happy family with a strong partner who is very satisfied with where they are. And that requires good social interactions, good behavior.
Behavior:
If your kids are really hostile, can’t control themselves, lack empathy, lack self-confidence, have bad manners, etc. chances are that they will not be liked by people around them and that they will probably try desperately to please people.They could have a high IQ, very good grades or be super efficient at work but at the end of the day, if people do not like you, you will fall short, you will be frustrated, you will even miss opportunities, or you can end up making bad choices.
It happened to the daughter of a friend of mine: she was a smart girl, very smart, the youngest in her class and beautiful too but because people were intimidated by her IQ and her beauty, she didn’t had no friends. So, she started trying to do things to please some girls she wanted to be friends with, wearing sexy clothes, escaping from school to have fun with her new “friends”, stealing money at home, drinking and having sex with boys she didn’t know, etc. She missed her year and got pregnant and really from there so many opportunities were lost!
Successful people have something that marks people around them, it can be their confidence, their attitude, their behavior, but there is definitely something that makes them likeable or just makes them stand out apart, be special.
Behavior is key and requires strong social skills. To give your children these social skills, you need to develop their emotional intelligence, which includes self-esteem, self-control, motivation, and social skills. Emotional intelligence is very important to being happy and fulfilled and you need to strengthen this part of your children’s personality that is often neglected.
Problem solver
Successful people have strong abilities to identify problems and solve them. Think about it, everyone with amazing success has identified a problem and solved it: Mark Zuckerberg identified the need for people to have these social interactions with others, Jean Pierre Arnault of LVMH with his multiple brands of luxury has identified this need to feed the quest for luxury, Microsoft and all the computing technology we have today were built to meet the challenge of remote communication, etc.
And beyond the professional/financial aspects, when you look at your daily life, it’s just a succession of problems that have to be solved. The better you get in managing to solve them, the easier your life becomes.
I have a friend who is very calm, I call him “Mr. Zen”. His approach to problem solving is impressive: “Manage what you can manage (what is in your control). You can’t manage what you can’t.” I remember a problem I had with my boss, we weren’t getting good results from a project and I suggested a new approach that I knew was more effective. He rejected my suggestion, and I was so angry that I thought I’d write to his boss to complain. But my Mr. Zen told me to keep quiet, document my concerns and suggestions in an email because that was what I had under my control, and keep doing what my boss wanted. It turned out that after 4 months of going south, the boss finally changed his mind and went along with my suggestion.
It is important to have this ability to analyze situations and find the best approach to deal with them in order to succeed in life. I would have written to my boss’s boss, I might have created a conflicting environment preventing my growth in the company.
Analytical skills, strategy, and creativity are essential to be a good problem solver, it just requires some practice.
It is important to know and understand the 3 key competencies that your children may need to succeed. All those skills could be developed and strengthened. Be sure to develop them with your kids, work with them to strengthen those competencies and practice, practice, practice. Your children’s success may depend on this continued work. For us single parents, it is extremely important that our hard work translates into the happiness of our children and we should do whatever it takes to help them succeed. And remember, “If you fail to plan…. You plan to fail”.
Don’t wait , Start planning now for the success of your children.
